Prologue:

My arms feel the loss of her, and my eyes beg me to look away.

The view blurs as the relentless droplets drum against the windowpane; the leaves on the trees are rustling in the forceful wind.

The window didn't fail to show her happily giggling in the rain with my replacement, and I can't help but stare at him, questioning where I've gone wrong and what he has that I didn't possess. And why are they before my house?

He places his hand on her waist and twirls her around, cutting the flow of the downpour elegantly, and her lips part in another hearty giggle, shattering my heart once more.

The soft mattress of my bed grows unforgivingly cold. My heart clenches, dropping into my stomach. I hate watching the most uncomfortable scene, sitting in what should be the most comfortable place in my room. My bed.

The red drops on the blade drip down along with the trails of crimson from my arms that are slipping towards the soft blue cotton bedsheet beneath me.

I stare at the mess before me, the smudges of my fresh red liquid draining on the innocent fabric.

She holds his hand and stares at him like the world around them doesn't exist.

My hands quiver with another strike of the glinting blade on the struggling pulse of my wrist, and I couldn't bite back the grunt anymore.

The fifth strike proved a little more painful than the gash I opened on my chest down to the abdomen a few moments ago.

He pulls her into a hug, and my finger positions the blade on my throat again. This time it'll end, and I'll never face this again.

A sudden jerk of darkness in my vision pushes me back to the headboard of the bed, and the memories from yesterday hit me like a train again.

“You are nothing compared to him!” Her words repeat in my mind again.

“Please give me another chance!” I begged.

“For that you have to be wealthy enough to have me.” I didn't recognize the sly grin on her face; she was no longer the person I knew…

“But I earn more than him! Please, for the sake of Allah… Don't leave me; I can't live without you.” I grabbed her arm, and she yanked away.

“Why don’t you understand!? It was all just a task—die or live. I don't care about you, and I never loved you!”

The disgust in her eyes shook me to my core.

“And please, don't start with your lectures about Allah. No one can live in this world on Islamic perspectives; to live it requires only a huge amount of filthy money, and I'm not letting that chance slide.”

I just stared at her, horrified at that moment of letting my dreams slip through my fingers.

“But that person?” I began, and she cut me off.

“Money.”

Her words left an imprint on my memory, and it still mocks the depths of my love for her.

My vision blurs again, throwing me into the depths of loneliness, I never wanted to enter.

It's all because of Him!

“You took her away from me, Allah.

You snatched the only happiness I had in my life, and I'll not bow to you in these last moments of my life, nor will I call upon you.

It is the end and I resent You for it.”